you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize