I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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