went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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