wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
