just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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