woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Alive.
So much puke
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
