The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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