Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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