Porn is love you can see.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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