Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
