So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
