Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize