I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
