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Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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