Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
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Even my vagina gasped.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
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On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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