i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Randomize
