you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
