Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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