Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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