im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
