Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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