i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
