Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
