i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
