They should really pass out barf bags in church
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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