I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
