we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
