scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
