Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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