who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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