hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
