So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
