Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
