White coat. Heels.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
