Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
