I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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