she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
