I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
