Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
