I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
