Your tits are I can't wait for
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
