Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
This is the high leading the old right now
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
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