I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
