i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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