I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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