she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize