I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
