hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
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