do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
