just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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