I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Holy shit dude........stairs
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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