Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
