What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
A bitchslap is in order.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
