Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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