he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
