im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
