Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
