I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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