So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
