Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm too high and old for this...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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