i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
