We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
