So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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