i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
