Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
