Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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