Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
