dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
