She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
