Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
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