id be glad to
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
