I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
